Monday.. I don't like you. It feels like my whole weekend just flew right by. The plus is, this time next week I'll be packing for my road trip to Texas. We leave next Tuesday night.
I'm sick of saying I'll "get back on the right path," only to fall off a few days later. That is essentially what I have been saying, and what has been happening for the past month or so. I'm not sure where or why I lost my motivation, but I don't like the changes I am seeing. I can feel the weight gain in my body, I can see it in my face.. I don't like it. My knees and back ache, it's just not good.
I weighed in yesterday and, miraculously, I was down a pound. That was the first loss I have had in quite some time. After I weighed in, I went to Blackwell with Michelle & her hubby Hicham. We walked Mt. Hoy, which showed me just how out of shape I am, and we did the trails. It felt good to be out and walking again. My feet weren't as bad as they were the other day when I decided to attempt a three mile walk after not walking since last year. Yeahhhh, that was stupid. Actually, I wasn't really attempting 3 miles or anything, but I pushed myself further than I should have. With how my feet felt, I honestly should have turned around and headed back home after 30 minutes. The issue is, I am really hard on myself. So rather than starting slow again, I talked myself into going further. At one point, I could literally feel the blisters forming on the bottoms of my feet. By then, I was already pretty far from home. When I finally got home, after taking a shortcut because my feet hurt so bad, I had blisters. I've noticed that I have more trouble walking on pavement and really flat surfaces than I do when I walk trails and grass. Also, I am in desperate need of a new pair of shoes.
After our walk, we went and had a late lunch, and then did our grocery shopping. When I got home, I put my groceries away and baked the chicken for the week. While I did pretty well at lunch, the evening wasn't as good. I really need to get my binges under control. I see why I do it now, which is a start. I really need to get back in the habit of portioning everything out. I've held off on doing the because I don't exactly have tons of room to put all this stuff, but if I have to actually think about what I'm going to eat, I'll just say "screw it" and then that makes an issue. Soooo tonight I'm going to get some small baggies and portion out a weeks worth of snacks. That way I'm not guessing and I can only eat what's in the bag.
One thing I am really hoping for is that Texas will be a reset button for me. I really need this trip. I need to get away for a bit, clear my head, and hopefully come home ready to get my butt back in gear.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Day 2
So today is day 2 for me of being back on track. Last night I had a little hiccup, but it wasn't anything crazy like it has been. I went over my allotted calories for the day, but I'm okay with that. And it wasn't a horrible snack either, so we're all good.
This morning I had steel cut oats with some cinnamon. My first snack of the day was a couple pieces of dried pineapple and some raw almonds. I had my breakfast at about 8:30 and had my first snack at about 11. By the time I was able to have lunch (about 12:45) I was really hungry. For my lunch I had a boneless/skinless chicken breast, half of a green bell pepper, & steamed carrots/broccoli/cauliflower. Around 3 I plan to have my second snack of the day, which will be a protein bar.For dinner I'm making brown rice, mixed with stewed tomatoes & other veggies. After dinner I have about 500 calories left over, which is good because there's a Blackhawks game on tonight & I'm sure I'll want a little snack while watching.
I'm proud of myself because I've been getting my water in, which was never really an issue anyway because I LOVE water, but lately it's seemed like more of a chore. The one thing I am noticing is that I have to re-learn when I'm really hungry, thirsty, or just bored. I almost had that down to a science before I, as my friend put it, hit a giant pothole in my journey. So I'm back at square one again.
I also feel kind of bad because my parents likely think I'm being anti-social. I went upstairs pretty early last night, mainly because I needed to be as far away from the kitchen as I could be. It's not that I didn't want to hang out with them, I'm just having troubles keeping myself away from the yummy food that is in the kitchen. And while I don't buy anything TOO tempting for myself, the donuts my parents bought looked particularly appetizing last night. So I did the best thing for myself, which was walking away.
Tonight will be a real test though because I usually watch the Blackhawks game with my mom downstairs. Like I said though, at least I have some calories left over to have myself a nice little snack, so hopefully I won't be doing anything too crazy being close to the kitchen. Whatever I do decided to snack on, I'll have to portion out so I don't go crazy during the game.
So that's basically what's up with me today. I'm just taking it one day at a time. :)
This morning I had steel cut oats with some cinnamon. My first snack of the day was a couple pieces of dried pineapple and some raw almonds. I had my breakfast at about 8:30 and had my first snack at about 11. By the time I was able to have lunch (about 12:45) I was really hungry. For my lunch I had a boneless/skinless chicken breast, half of a green bell pepper, & steamed carrots/broccoli/cauliflower. Around 3 I plan to have my second snack of the day, which will be a protein bar.For dinner I'm making brown rice, mixed with stewed tomatoes & other veggies. After dinner I have about 500 calories left over, which is good because there's a Blackhawks game on tonight & I'm sure I'll want a little snack while watching.
I'm proud of myself because I've been getting my water in, which was never really an issue anyway because I LOVE water, but lately it's seemed like more of a chore. The one thing I am noticing is that I have to re-learn when I'm really hungry, thirsty, or just bored. I almost had that down to a science before I, as my friend put it, hit a giant pothole in my journey. So I'm back at square one again.
I also feel kind of bad because my parents likely think I'm being anti-social. I went upstairs pretty early last night, mainly because I needed to be as far away from the kitchen as I could be. It's not that I didn't want to hang out with them, I'm just having troubles keeping myself away from the yummy food that is in the kitchen. And while I don't buy anything TOO tempting for myself, the donuts my parents bought looked particularly appetizing last night. So I did the best thing for myself, which was walking away.
Tonight will be a real test though because I usually watch the Blackhawks game with my mom downstairs. Like I said though, at least I have some calories left over to have myself a nice little snack, so hopefully I won't be doing anything too crazy being close to the kitchen. Whatever I do decided to snack on, I'll have to portion out so I don't go crazy during the game.
So that's basically what's up with me today. I'm just taking it one day at a time. :)
Monday, March 17, 2014
Getting back on track
Happy St. Patrick's Day & happy Monday!
Let's play catch up! I have a lot I want to post here so you all know what's been going on in my life. Sooooo, here we go.
So today is the first day of me REALLY getting back on track. I did my grocery shopping last night and prepared my food for today. I also weighed myself this morning for the first time in a few weeks. Yup, I gained 30 lbs between Thanksgiving and now. So that brings my total weight loss to 50 lbs. I was at 80, but I refuse to beat myself up over this because I know what I need to do to get back on track. Thankfully I have an amazing support system behind me, and several of my biggest supporters are amazing friends & family who are also on a journey to get healthy.
For the first time in almost three years I am going to visit my friends in Texas. I leave in 22 days, and I am SO excited. I'm driving down with Michelle and her hubby Hicham. We'll be leaving on April 8th, and will be driving to Fort Smith, Arkansas to spend a day with Michelle's Uncle Brian. I know that is going to be a blast because Uncle B isn't called "Party Bus" for nothin! So we'll be spending Wednesday the 9th with Uncle B and then the morning of the 10th we'll be heading out to Sherman, TX to see our Texas friends! We'll be in Sherman the rest of our trip, and will hopefully be taking a day trip down to Dallas to have some fun & do some shopping. Yeah buddy!
Michelle and I used to go down to Texas twice a year to see our best friend Kimie. The last time we were there was for Kim & Kyle's wedding. After that, we made several attempts to go down there, but something always came up and we had to cancel. So I am SUPER stoked that we are finally going. I think this is just the trip I need to reset my mind. There is just something about Texas that usually helps me do just that! Plus, it's going to be nice and warm down there! It will be nice to get away from the cold & yuck that has been Chicago this winter. I'm really looking forward to living in sundresses and sandals while I'm down there. I can't wait!
One thing I've really wanted to share is the issue I've been having with binge eating. I could do so well all day, then I get home and just go crazy. This is something I really have to get under wraps. I feel like lately it's been brought on by stress/feeling unbalanced. I won't even lie to you, I love food. But it's the unhealthy stalker kind of love. I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset about something, I eat. If there's nothing that strikes my fancy at home, I will hop in the car and go to McDonald's, Burger King, or Dunkin Donuts. I've found myself doing this a lot lately. Like I said in my previous post, I've had more fast food since the beginning of the year than I have in a LONG time. I find that I cave & go get fast food when I'm having a hard time dealing with things. Lately, I've had a lot to deal with. There are a lot of changes happening over the next 4 months in my life, add my anxiety issues lately and you have this lovely ball of mess that is me. It's been a lot to deal with. So I'm currently trying to take things one day at a time and remember that there is only so much I can control. For a control freak like me, that is a hard lesson to learn.
What do you guys do when you find yourself emotionally eating? What are your plans for success this week?
Let's play catch up! I have a lot I want to post here so you all know what's been going on in my life. Sooooo, here we go.
So today is the first day of me REALLY getting back on track. I did my grocery shopping last night and prepared my food for today. I also weighed myself this morning for the first time in a few weeks. Yup, I gained 30 lbs between Thanksgiving and now. So that brings my total weight loss to 50 lbs. I was at 80, but I refuse to beat myself up over this because I know what I need to do to get back on track. Thankfully I have an amazing support system behind me, and several of my biggest supporters are amazing friends & family who are also on a journey to get healthy.
For the first time in almost three years I am going to visit my friends in Texas. I leave in 22 days, and I am SO excited. I'm driving down with Michelle and her hubby Hicham. We'll be leaving on April 8th, and will be driving to Fort Smith, Arkansas to spend a day with Michelle's Uncle Brian. I know that is going to be a blast because Uncle B isn't called "Party Bus" for nothin! So we'll be spending Wednesday the 9th with Uncle B and then the morning of the 10th we'll be heading out to Sherman, TX to see our Texas friends! We'll be in Sherman the rest of our trip, and will hopefully be taking a day trip down to Dallas to have some fun & do some shopping. Yeah buddy!
Michelle and I used to go down to Texas twice a year to see our best friend Kimie. The last time we were there was for Kim & Kyle's wedding. After that, we made several attempts to go down there, but something always came up and we had to cancel. So I am SUPER stoked that we are finally going. I think this is just the trip I need to reset my mind. There is just something about Texas that usually helps me do just that! Plus, it's going to be nice and warm down there! It will be nice to get away from the cold & yuck that has been Chicago this winter. I'm really looking forward to living in sundresses and sandals while I'm down there. I can't wait!
One thing I've really wanted to share is the issue I've been having with binge eating. I could do so well all day, then I get home and just go crazy. This is something I really have to get under wraps. I feel like lately it's been brought on by stress/feeling unbalanced. I won't even lie to you, I love food. But it's the unhealthy stalker kind of love. I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset about something, I eat. If there's nothing that strikes my fancy at home, I will hop in the car and go to McDonald's, Burger King, or Dunkin Donuts. I've found myself doing this a lot lately. Like I said in my previous post, I've had more fast food since the beginning of the year than I have in a LONG time. I find that I cave & go get fast food when I'm having a hard time dealing with things. Lately, I've had a lot to deal with. There are a lot of changes happening over the next 4 months in my life, add my anxiety issues lately and you have this lovely ball of mess that is me. It's been a lot to deal with. So I'm currently trying to take things one day at a time and remember that there is only so much I can control. For a control freak like me, that is a hard lesson to learn.
What do you guys do when you find yourself emotionally eating? What are your plans for success this week?
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
I'm here.
You guys, I'm terrible at keeping this thing updated. I wish my first post back would be "I'm still doing awesome with my weight loss," but sadly that's not the case. Honestly, I'm really struggling with it. I mean REALLY struggling. Obviously you can see that because it's been basically a year since my last real update. I'm sorry about that.
I told you all from the beginning I would be very truthful & candid in my posts here. I said I would blog through the good, the bad, & the ugly. Well, I'm here to blog about the ugly in hopes that this will jump start me back on the right path. Soooo, here we go.
I was flying high after the 5k I did last summer, and I wanted to keep up the momentum. I didn't... I started off with the best of intentions to keep up with my walking. As most of you know, I'm incredibly heavy so, right now, walking in the best exercise for me and it worked. Hell, I lost 80 lbs just from eating right and walking.
As summer faded and fall came, I started to slack more and more. I wasn't walking anymore, but for awhile I was doing a half-assed job with tracking my food intake and eating clean. Then Thanksgiving hit, then Christmas, then New Years.... You get the picture. Well, here I am, in a situation I am not happy with. It's now March 11th and I've gained quite a bit back of the weight I lost. It's been a few weeks since I weighed myself, but last weigh in my total loss was down to 50 lbs from 80. So basically between Thanksgiving and now I gained 30 lbs. I know how it happened. Boy do I know how it happened. I'm more upset with myself that I even let it happen.
I'm really trying not to be so hard on myself because that really gets me nowhere. I've been telling myself over the last two weeks that I would get back on track, but I haven't been able to find the drive or motivation. In all honesty, I've not been eating my meals like I'm supposed to. I've been going to work without my lunch, and then basically binge eating when I get home. Add in the fact that, since January I've had the most fast food I've eaten in over a year, and you can see my troubles. It's terrible and I feel terrible. My clothes are getting tighter, and I just feel like crap.
All I've really wanted to do lately is sleep. I know part of this is from how I've been eating. My body feels sluggish and I can feel the negative changes from my recent terrible food habits. I do have issues with depression, which I feel is just adding to the mess. There's a lot of changes happening in my life right now that are making me feel unbalanced. I don't do too well with change. But, life isn't always easy and I need to get back on track.
I think the hardest thing has been, not only letting myself down but, letting you guys down. I have received some of the most amazing messages from you guys. Some of you have even gone as far as to say I inspire you. You have no idea how much that means to me. So right now I am going to remember the lovely things you all have told me, along with the clothes that are getting tighter and tighter by the day, to get back on track. Thursday is payday and I'll be doing my food planning & grocery shopping. I also need to start walking again. I'll be excited once it gets warmer out so I can go back to Blackwell and do my walks there. But until then, I may need to suck it up and get a gym membership. I found one close to home that is $10 a month and it has all I need. I mean, I can't just walk anyway.. I do need access to some weights. So we will see. Either way, I need to get back to eating clean and walking.
So thank you to those who have stuck around with me while my fitness train went off course a bit. Hopefully I'll be having some good updates coming soon. Thank you all again and let's do this!
I told you all from the beginning I would be very truthful & candid in my posts here. I said I would blog through the good, the bad, & the ugly. Well, I'm here to blog about the ugly in hopes that this will jump start me back on the right path. Soooo, here we go.
I was flying high after the 5k I did last summer, and I wanted to keep up the momentum. I didn't... I started off with the best of intentions to keep up with my walking. As most of you know, I'm incredibly heavy so, right now, walking in the best exercise for me and it worked. Hell, I lost 80 lbs just from eating right and walking.
As summer faded and fall came, I started to slack more and more. I wasn't walking anymore, but for awhile I was doing a half-assed job with tracking my food intake and eating clean. Then Thanksgiving hit, then Christmas, then New Years.... You get the picture. Well, here I am, in a situation I am not happy with. It's now March 11th and I've gained quite a bit back of the weight I lost. It's been a few weeks since I weighed myself, but last weigh in my total loss was down to 50 lbs from 80. So basically between Thanksgiving and now I gained 30 lbs. I know how it happened. Boy do I know how it happened. I'm more upset with myself that I even let it happen.
I'm really trying not to be so hard on myself because that really gets me nowhere. I've been telling myself over the last two weeks that I would get back on track, but I haven't been able to find the drive or motivation. In all honesty, I've not been eating my meals like I'm supposed to. I've been going to work without my lunch, and then basically binge eating when I get home. Add in the fact that, since January I've had the most fast food I've eaten in over a year, and you can see my troubles. It's terrible and I feel terrible. My clothes are getting tighter, and I just feel like crap.
All I've really wanted to do lately is sleep. I know part of this is from how I've been eating. My body feels sluggish and I can feel the negative changes from my recent terrible food habits. I do have issues with depression, which I feel is just adding to the mess. There's a lot of changes happening in my life right now that are making me feel unbalanced. I don't do too well with change. But, life isn't always easy and I need to get back on track.
I think the hardest thing has been, not only letting myself down but, letting you guys down. I have received some of the most amazing messages from you guys. Some of you have even gone as far as to say I inspire you. You have no idea how much that means to me. So right now I am going to remember the lovely things you all have told me, along with the clothes that are getting tighter and tighter by the day, to get back on track. Thursday is payday and I'll be doing my food planning & grocery shopping. I also need to start walking again. I'll be excited once it gets warmer out so I can go back to Blackwell and do my walks there. But until then, I may need to suck it up and get a gym membership. I found one close to home that is $10 a month and it has all I need. I mean, I can't just walk anyway.. I do need access to some weights. So we will see. Either way, I need to get back to eating clean and walking.
So thank you to those who have stuck around with me while my fitness train went off course a bit. Hopefully I'll be having some good updates coming soon. Thank you all again and let's do this!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Hello Prairie Path!
Hey everyone! So 5K training has "officially" started for Michelle and I. Thanks to GeoDistance.com & Google Maps, I was able to find the mileage for the leg of the Illinois Prairie Path near my house. With that in hand, Michelle & I set out for a walk last night. This is the path we took:
EDIT: So I tried to embed the map here, but it didn't work out as planned. SO, here is the link to the route we take. :)
West Chicago Prairie Path! (Google Map)
West Chicago Prairie Path! (Google Map)
The walk takes us from the start of the Prairie Path in Reed Keppler Park, and ends at Kress Road, which is a total of 1.7 miles. So to walk to Kress Road & back, the total mileage comes to 3.4 miles, which is a little over what we need for the actual 5K in July.
Sadly, we didn't make it to the end last night. We were almost to Kress when we turned around and headed back. The only reason, the mosquitoes were INSANE. Honestly, it's a great path to walk. I had never walked out that far on the Prairie Path before, but it was a nice walk. Very peaceful. You do share the path with other walkers, joggers, & cyclists. And if you decide to walk the Prairie Path, I would suggest bringing some kind of mosquito/insect repellent. Poor Michelle was getting eaten alive and it seemed like clouds of mosquitoes were following her, haha. So bug spray is a MUST.
So all in all, Michelle and I walked 2 miles last night. It was honestly probably a little over that. My feet were a little sore afterwards, but I felt good. Today it's raining, so the path is out of the question today. But I'm hoping we'll get another crack at it before the end of the week. I'll keep you all posted. :)
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Sunday check in!
Hey everyone! Hope this Sunday finds you all doing fantastic! I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. Life has been interesting the last couple weeks, which has kept me busy. In short, CAR REPAIRS. This next week my car will be going in for some new tires after the lovely blowout I had last week.. so I'm hoping the car repair costs will stop for awhile.
Anyways! Last Sunday when I weighed in, I was up 3 lbs. I wasn't really all that surprised by the gain because I still have yet to get my monthly visitor. For awhile there I had it like clockwork, but I feel like with the increase in working out and my consistent weight loss, that my body is still trying to catch up. When I weighed in today, I was down 5.2 lbs. That brings my weight loss total to 62 lbs (36 lbs since 01/13/2013). Needless to say, I am happy with my results so far.
On April 8, 2013 I took my measurements for the first time and decided that I would take my measurements once a month to see what kind of progress I was making. So when I took my measurements on May 5, 2013, I was a very happy person. In total, I had lost 8 inches. I lost 3 inches in my hips, 3 inches in my thighs, & 2 inches in my upper arms/bicep area. I had been able to tell that I was losing inches because of how my clothes were fitting.
Which brings me to my next point, I'm getting smaller!!! A lot of people have pointed out to me that my face is not as round anymore. I can also tell a difference in my upper body. I'm having some slight issues because I have lost quite a bit up top, but my bottom half still needs to catch up. So, that makes for some interesting clothing purchases. I bought a couple of dresses recently in the size I would normally need, and they are way too big in the top now, but they fit my bottom okay. I also recently bought a dress a size smaller than I normally would at Target. It's really amazing the stuff I am starting to be able to fit into. With the loss of inches in my thighs, there are jeans I have that I have either never been able to wear, or haven't worn in quite some time that I can now wear! I also have some of my favorite dresses going in to be taken in so I can wear them over the summer. ALSO!! I bought a coat last year that was super cute. The issue was, I couldn't zip is closed. Well, I CAN ZIP IT CLOSED NOW!! As you can tell, I am SUPER stoked about that. Being a woman of my size, I've head to almost always wear open coats, even in blizzard conditions, because it was hard to find a coat that fit. Now I CAN!! It's rather exciting!
My feet aren't hurting as bad anymore either. Being that I'm still quite heavy, I notice that after I've walked about an hour my feet are unhappy with me. I thought it might be the shoes I was wearing, but I start to notice the time I'm walking more. Usually when I hit about 45 mins, my feet start to get sore. I mean, I DO need to go get fitted for proper shoes, but I think with my weight it's more the time I'm on my feet than the shoes at this point. So with my continued walking, I know this will start changing.
Which brings me to my next thing.. COLOR ME RAD!! We are officially 61 days away from the 5k Michelle & I will be walking. I hope some of you will be joining us. Check my last blog post for more info on how you can sign up and join us :) I made a nifty countdown for myself. I'm getting excited, but I know I still have some work to do before then. I'm hoping maybe this next week Michelle and I will be able to hit the prairie path and see how far we can go. I really want to be able to time how long it takes for us to do 3 miles. I really need to get a pedometer.
Other than that, not too much is up. I've been eating out more recently, which I've been making good decisions with, but I really need to get back in the habit of cooking. I have more control there, and it's cheaper for me anyway. :) So that is my plan this next week. Get back into the swing of things with cooking & prepping. I'm VERY successful when I go that route.
So how have you guys been? What were your successes this last week? What will you do to be successful this week? Share your thoughts! :) Thanks for reading!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Color Me Rad 5K Chicago
I know I've posted about this before, but I feel it is worth
posting and talking about again. How many of you Chicago area lovelies will be
joining Michelle (https://www.facebook.com/MichelleResi82) &
I for the Color Me Rad 5K on July 20, 2013??
For you larger lovelies concerned about having to run the 5K, rest assured that you can walk it too. Michelle and I will be doing just that. While we would like to be able to jog a portion of it, we know that running/jogging is a lot of impact and pressure on our knees in our current state, so we'll be walking a good portion of the race. So if you would like to join us, it's not too late!! Here is the link to join in on the fun.
Michelle and I will be doing the 10:00am wave, and if you would like to join the "team" I've set up, click "join an existing team." It will ask you for my team name, which is Beyond The Fat, and my last name (Kelly). To get 10% off of your registration fee, you can enter promo code “WORLDSPORT." The use of the promo code also gives World Sport Chicago 15% of your race entry fee.
If you're not already familiar with World Sport Chicago, they're a pretty awesome organization. World Sport Chicago is an independent, non-profit organization that teaches positive values and leadership through sport. The organization acts on the belief that sport has the power to strengthen individuals, and in turn, Chicago’s communities. World Sport Chicago promotes programs and events and collaborates with several community partners, public agencies and Chicago’s professional sports teams to deliver impact and change.
World Sport Chicago has a unique history as the living legacy of Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Olympic and Paralympic Games. The organization has evolved substantially since the bid. However, the collaborative spirit that drove those efforts remains central to the work of World Sport Chicago.
The mission of World Sport Chicago is to promote the development of sustainable sports programming that improves the quality of life for under-served youth in Chicago and at-risk communities. World Sport Chicago does this by:
-- Teaching
life-enhancing values and character development through sport
-- Leveraging
on-going sport programs and events to engage families and strengthen
communities
-- Directing
resources and technical expertise to communities of need for high-quality and
sustainable programming
-- Sharing
practices and innovations to develop thought leadership on the positive impact
of sport
-- Advocating
sport-for-all, regardless of physical and visual abilities.
So pretty
please, use that promo code when your checking out so that World Sport Chicago
can get 15% of your race entry fee. They are a great organization and, if you
would like to learn more about them, you can visit their website at the link
below!
I would
LOVE to see a lot of you there. This 5K is not about how fast you walk/run, but
it is to do it for a great cause like World Sport Chicago. It is also to show that, no matter your size, you CAN get moving. Speaking from my own experience, you would be amazed at how much walking can do for you. So please, if you've been thinking about signing up for the Color Me Rad 5K, do it! Come join in on the fun with Michelle and I. And if you are going, please let me know so we can look for you! I'll be bringing a camera along, so expect LOTS and lots of photos. Let's DO IT!!!
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